I am attempting to expand this blog to encompass more than music. Life changes are prompting the expansion. Much has happened and I want this site to be a place where I can elaborate on the changes.
That said, I can't get entirely away from the music, it being such a part of my life. The soundtrack to my life changes as time passes and I want to capture the change, if possible.
I heard this song today and realized I hadn't shared it before. Tis the season after all and I do love Coldplay, so this is a two-fer... Win-win!
Heard this song tonight, sung by one of the contestants on the Voice (start around the 2:00 mark...). Had to look it up and found out it was sung by Billie Eilish. Then had to look up her video and found it.
Not sure what it is about the song, but it gutted me. "I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that..." How easy it is to just give up... let go... acquiesce... go quietly... into the dark.
But,... I can't... or I won't.
Finding myself here, at the end of all things... and the beginning of all things. Again. I've reinvented myself so many times... over the years... wondering how much longer I will be able to do so. Excitement and sheer terror at the same time.
I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that...
I've been waiting to write this because I've been trying not to lose hope, but there comes a time...
I had the most fortunate opportunity to work with Janee Hull-Swift earlier this year on a most lovely play, The Cemetery Club. She, Donna Marie Sergi and I were the three besties in this show and I don't give it enough credit by saying it was a blast. It was so much more. It was a lovely play and we put so much fun and life into rehearsing it and then performing it for audiences. Every performance was a performance from the heart for all of us. I like to say it was well received. I still have people come up to me and say they loved the show... We put all of our heart into it and the result was something so special. This was the closing song for the play and It. Was. A. Perfect. Ending.
I write this also to say goodbye to Janee...
I still remember our audition for The Cemetery Club. The director, Mike Moffat, put the three of us, Janee, Donna and me, together for a scene and it was like we had worked together for years. It was hilarious and we played off of each other so well. He later told us that it was that scene that cemented his decision to cast us for that play. We spent three months rehearsing and then another month performing together and we all grew to love each other and this show. And that is what makes this so painful to write.
We talked of getting together again, but I got another role in another play and then Janee got a role in another play and Donna got a role in another play and we never found that opportunity to get together again after the cast party. I was so happy to see her at this last audition. We sat next to each other at the beginning of the audition and talked about stuff...what she had been up to and what I had been up to and I was happy to see her. I wasn't in the room when she collapsed (a burst aneurysm, we later learned...), but I rushed to the hospital when I found out, if nothing else, to make sure her husband wasn't alone. I saw her in the emergency room. She was intubated and unconscious. I don't believe she ever regained consciousness...
It's been over a week now... We hoped, we prayed, we so desperately wanted her to wake up, but it seems that we are only left with watching her drift away.
My heartbreak is nothing compared to the heartbreak of her husband and daughter and friends who have known her so much longer. But my heart is broken.
I had a Facebook "discussion" some time back following the Women's March on Washington. It started out with someone I know throwing out an innocuous comment about the marchers. I have to confess, my emotions were still somewhat raw from the election and inauguration of a man I truly don't feel is qualified, but he's now our president... Leaving that aside, I read that comment and wrote a response and spent the rest of the day "discussing" the point of the march and women's rights and abortion and it was hard. Not sure if I understood them, or they understood me, but I found myself broken-hearted at the end.
I have to stop here and state a few things so you know from where I write. I am a child of God. I am a follower of Christ. I am a complementarian. I am pro-life. I have been a child of God since 1977, when, much like CS Lewis, I got in my car to drive across town to my parents' house, not really knowing Christ, but when I got out of my car, at their home, I believed. Yes, there is more to the story, but that works for now. I have followed Christ up close and from a distance ever since. Ours has been a journey of hills and plains and mountains and valleys, roads less traveled, crowded thoroughfares; all the while I have followed, knowing I was His, but not necessarily knowing what to do with that knowledge, nor what that knowledge really meant.
It took a new church and a pastor who admitted he didn't have all the answers, he didn't have it all together, but he knew to whom he belonged to help me essentially deconstruct my faith in order to understand that my behavior didn't make God love me, but that God loved me, period. Placing my hope in Him rather than in my behavior, or in my religiosity changed everything. Having come from a place where I felt like I had to look and act like I had it all together and I had to have all the right answers and behave all the right ways... it was a breath of fresh air for this tired child of God.
And then, something interesting happened. I realized I didn't have to act anymore. I could be myself, all crazy, convoluted person that I am, that God created me to be. I didn't have to fit a mold! What relief, what joy! And joy it was and has been. And then something else happened. I actually felt free. And I could then and can now revel in that freedom IN CHRIST.
Which brings me to that heartbreaking "discussion." So many women marching then... so many coming forward now about sexual assault and abuse... so many people begging for relief in Puerto Rico and Nevada... so many young men taking a knee... so many around the world crying out for relief. And they're being told to get over it... move on... stand up... get a life... "make a quilt." They're trivialized and marginalized...
And yet, Christ went to the trivialized, the marginalized. He didn't wait for them to get better, become better people. He went to them as they were, all messy and broken and he bound and healed their wounds. He walked with them and knelt with them and laughed and cried with them. He wasn't afraid of them.
And because of that, in my freedom IN CHRIST, I can reach out, unafraid. I can walk with, kneel with, cry with and point out "here is God!" He is not absent, He is not uncaring, He does not rebuke. He is here to heal. And that is my heart cry... Lord, heal us!
Just haven't wanted to post much lately... Have let the current national climate get the best of me, it seems. Tonight, though, on the way home from my daughter's house, I heard this first song on a station. I immediately clicked on Shazam, but it came up empty! What the...!! Then a voice came on the radio saying who they were and they talked for a bit and then they sang the second song.
It was then I realized, I need to stick to music.
Not that I don't think I have something to say to today's discussions. It's just that there comes a point where anything I say gets caught up in the noise and it doesn't help. I must needs find another way... so I pray.
This was one of the songs I included in my father's memorial video. I'd asked the grandkids to give me a song that reminded each of them of their grandpa. Katie gave me this one. It was the last song in the video. Seemed appropriate...
There's no one in town I know You gave us some place to go. I never said thank you for that. I thought I might get one more chance. What would you think of me now, so lucky, so strong, so proud? I never said thank you for that, now I'll never have a chance. May angels lead you in. Hear you me my friends. On sleepless roads the sleepless go. May angels lead you in.
Crazy year... emotions all over the board... A granddaughter was born this year... a new beginning. I hang on to that as I remember how the year has passed (read "election year"). To say it's been hard... understatement.
I can't be too morose, too maudlin... I have beautiful babies to love on and who love me. I have friends and family near and far who I know love me. I am truly blessed. I use that to help me look at the new year with great expectation, with hope...
The melancholy in me, though... well, it has to have a say, so it gets to choose the song tonight...
I shared this song last year as I was dealing with the death of my father and the deaths of two other close friends. They all died within the space of a few weeks and I was sucker-punched by it. I may even say I'm stilldealing with the aftermath...
All of that and this election year has made for a rough haul emotionally, but this Christmas season I determined to focus on Joy, and in spite of the madness about, I sought Joy, that Peace that passes understanding.
I love Christmas. I love the music, the lights, the colors, the festivities that are tied to the season. It's a season of merriment and joy! But then again... it's not. That first Christmas...Christ was born in a dirty barn and laid in a dirty manger filled with straw, with dirty animals about. There's nothing pretty about that scene, but that's the scene we're given for the birth of this king. It wasn't really joy-filled, except maybe for when Mary held her son. It doesn't matter what happens before. When a mom holds her newborn...there is joy, a deep joy, following deep pain, but joy nonetheless.
There is deep pain around us, on so many levels, near and far. My heart breaks for Berlin and Aleppo. It grieves for a young couple I know who lost their baby earlier this year. It hurts for a friend whose elderly mother is currently hospitalized. I still miss my dad.
Emotions are all over the place this time of year. My song selections tonight are also all over... I heard this song a while back and wanted to share it. So painfully beautiful. Dedicated to the heartbroken.
Then I heard this song. I love Coldplay so I immediately recognized Chris Martin. Found the video and thought it needed to be shared as well. Quirky would be a good description. Dedicated to the melancholy...
But, just as my story about that first Christmas may have started with pain and suffering and ended with joy... this song series ends in joy, incredible joy. Weeping endures for the night, but joy comes in the morning. It really does and it really will.
But you, O Bethlehem Ephrathah, who are too little to be among the clans of Judah, from you shall come forth for me one who is to be ruler in Israel, whose coming forth is from of old, from ancient days. Therefore he shall give them up until the time when she who is in labor has given birth; then the rest of his brothers shall return to the people of Israel. And he shall stand and shepherd his flock in the strength of the Lord, in the majesty of the name of the Lord his God. MICAH 5:2–4
If you are “in him” by faith, you will inherit all the promises of God. Micah’s prediction came true in Jesus. And thus all the promises were confirmed. God has told the truth. Christmas is God’s great confirmation of all his promises. If Christ has come, God is true. And if God is true, all the promises will come true for all who trust him. Receive this unspeakable gift."
-The Dawning of Incredible Joy, John Piper, Desiring God
This is the choir and orchestra from my church performing this weekend during our Christmas celebration, Finding Christmas. I was fortunate to hear them in person and enjoy celebrating the season with joyous live music. I pray it's a blessing to you.
I attended the Christmas Concert, Finding Christmas, at Grace Baptist earlier and heard this song and wanted to share it. It seems appropriate for the days in which we live... I found the prologue in this video interesting, too. It provides much needed background for the song and adds some urgency to the message for today.
And, if you're in the Santa Clarita area, this weekend, there are still two more opportunities to hear this great seasonal concert.
I love looking through bandcamp or Noisetrade for new music. I shared a song from this group last year during the holiday season. Just found out on bandcamp they have released a new holiday EP and so I listened to it. Loved this song and want to share it. I love actually how it ties to today's devotional message.
Christmas is the reassertion of the foundation of all truth and goodness and beauty, because Christmas means: God is truthful. God’s truthfulness is the constant in a universe of flux. God’s truthfulness is the unwavering absolute. If we forsake God’s truthfulness, the anchor is up, the rudder is loose, the keel is broken, and the ship of life (political life, social life, educational life, scientific life, family life) is simply at the mercy of the wind of human wishes. So I say it with all my heart: demonstrating the truthfulness of God is a great blessing. Give that blessing to your children. Say to the next generation again and again: God is truthful; God keeps his word; God does not lie; God can be trusted! That’s one blessing of Advent. Receive it as a wonderful Christmas gift, and give it to as many people as you can.
As we wait, let us share this hope, this truth, this life.
I shared a song by JJ Heller several years ago, the first year I started sharing songs. Heard her singing this song tonight and knew it needed to be shared. Love her voice... Love her message.
I've been remiss in sharing from the devotional I'm going through this holiday. I've had time to ruminate on yesterday's and today's devotional and want to share from them both. Yesterday the devotional spoke about why Christmas happened. Today's speaks of God's passion for His Glory at Christmas. They are so beautifully intertwined. We are most satisfied when God is most gloried.
Christmas happened to take away our sin.
So two times John tells us that Christmas happened—the Son of God became human—to take away sin, or to destroy the works of the Devil, namely, sin. Jesus was born of a virgin by the Holy Spirit (Matt. 1:18–20) and “increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man” (Luke 2:52) and was perfectly obedient and sinless in all his life and ministry, all the way to the point of death, even death on a cross (Phil. 2:5–8; Heb. 4:15)—in order to destroy the works of the Devil—to take away sin. Our sin. Make this personal and love him for it. Take the very personal words of the apostle Paul and make them your own. “The life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Gal. 2:20). This is how he destroyed the works of the Devil and rescued us from our sin. Don’t leave Christmas in the abstract. Your sin. Your conflict with the Devil. Your victory. He came for this.
And God is passionate about His Glory at Christmas
The deepest reason why we live for the glory of God is that God acts for the glory of God. We are passionate about God’s glory because God is passionate about God’s glory. And what makes this such good news, especially in the Gospel of John, is that the glory of God is full of grace and truth. “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). The most glorious thing about God is that he is so completely, fully self-sufficient that the glory of the fullness of his being overflows in truth and grace for his creatures. He doesn’t need us. And therefore in his fullness he overflows for us. Such is the grace we receive at Christmas.
I know I shared this song earlier this year, but I heard this stripped down version today and felt I needed to share it. I'm reminded that this time of year for some isn't full of cheer or joy. It's hard. As one who has loved ones who have fought depression through their lifetime and herself has faced it, I know how dark this time of year can be. I must speak to it. It's there. It's hard.
I'm reminded of the psalmist's lament though (Psalm 42).
Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
As one who has "been there, done that", I can say, if you're dealing with grief, with depression, with heartbreak, go to the Psalms. They WILL speak to your heartache and will, with time, provide such relief. Tears will be shed, but relief WILL come. Weeping endures for the night (and there may be great pain and great grief, and the night may feel so very long), but JOY, heartfelt joy, unexplained joy... comes in the morning. It does come. It. does. come.
Tonight's devotional is on preparing our hearts for Christ. But it's not on us to struggle and strive to prepare. He's the one preparing our hearts.
God owns and controls all things. And there is nothing that he could give you for Christmas this year that would suit your needs and your longings better than the consolation of Israel and the redemption of Jerusalem, restoration for past losses and liberation from future enemies, forgiveness and freedom, pardon and power, healing the past and sealing the future. If there is a longing in your heart this Advent for something that the world has not been able to satisfy, might not this longing be God’s Christmas gift preparing you to see Christ as consolation and redemption and to receive him for who he really is?
The Advent Season has begun and, once again, I hope to share excerpts from one of Desiring God's Advent Devotionals, "The Dawning of Indestructible Joy." It seems a somewhat fitting choice to help me fight for Joy this season. I hope and pray it is useful to you.
Dec 1, 2016
The coming of Jesus was a search-and-save mission. “The Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.”
So Advent is a season for thinking about the mission of God to seek and to save lost people from the wrath to come. God raised him from the dead, “Jesus who delivers us from the wrath to come” (1 Thess. 1:10). It’s a season for cherishing and worshiping this characteristic of God—that he is a searching and saving God, that he is a God on a mission, that he is not aloof or passive or indecisive. He is never in the maintenance mode, coasting or drifting. He is sending, pursuing, searching, saving. That’s the meaning of Advent.
I shared a song from Sleeping At Last a couple of days ago. I'd found it on the "A Very RELEVANT Christmas, Vol. 6" album that I'd downloaded last week. Tonight I thought I'd look to see what else the band had been up to and found this song. Thought it appropriate because I'm focusing on Joy this season.
it is the calm water in the middle of an anxious sea. where heavy clouds part and the sunrise starts a fire in the deepest part of me. so i let go and in this moment, I can breathe.
I've shared Sleeping At Last's songs quite a few times over the last couple of years. Their songs strike a resonant chord in my heart. This one is no different. It resonates even more as family has moved away and life and traditions have changed. Not saying it's wrong or bad... It's just different... and needs more the effort to make new traditions.
I will fight for Joy.
the table is set and our glasses are full though pieces go missing, may we still feel whole we'll build new traditions in place of the old 'cause life without revision will silence our souls
so let the bells keep on ringing making angels in the snow may the melody surround us when the cracks begin to show
like the petals in our pockets may we remember who we are unconditionally cared for by those who share our broken hearts
Kinda got away from posting songs earlier this year. Not sure why, other than I was weary... Work, theater, politics...they all combined, along with residual effects of losing my father last year, to create a somewhat lingering melancholy.
And now it's the Holiday Season! Oh, how the depression wants to set in...
But, this season... I will fight for Joy! I will press in... and press on.
In spite of the tendency to melancholy, I do love this time of year. I like the cooler weather, sweater weather. I love the lights, the spectacle. I've already got my Christmas tree up! Yes, I'm one of those people.
It's a season of expectation. We celebrate the anticipation of the Christ Child's birth, His coming into the world, Emmanuel, God with us. And as we celebrate the season, we do so with great anticipation of His coming again. (e'en so Lord, come quickly...)
I recently downloaded a free album from Relevant Magazine. It's their annual Christmas gift to their readers. And, as usual, it has some powerful songs from some amazing artists. I'll probably share more songs from the album, but this first one had me with the title and I know I need to share it tonight... for so many reasons.
I've shared River Whyless before. They just released their latest album, We All the Light. I found this video fascinating enough that I felt it ought to be shared.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.
I know... I haven't been blogging much lately... I could blame it on work and rehearsals because I did a show this summer. I may have shared before, but I find that I don't write as much when I have another emotional and artistic outlet... like a production. I was in a play this summer and so I kinda... sorta... stopped blogging. And then, when the show stopped, I found that I just didn't have much to share, music-wise, or anything-else-wise, so I just didn't write.
Today, though, I have a reason to write and to share a song... thanks to Sia.
I love Sia's music. Her songs are powerful. They resonate with me and I can't get enough of them. Her latest video is no different. I'm mesmerized.
A friend shared the video along with an article from Huffington Post on the video that the article says is a tribute to the Orland Shooting victims. There ARE forty-nine dancers, along with Maddie Ziegler, Sia's dance muse, for every one of the Orlando victims. As you watch it, you can't help but feel the terror, the heartbreak of what happened in that nightclub.
And the lyrics, "Don't give up, I won't give up, don't give up, no no no."
They were dancing. They were living life. They were our brothers, our sisters, our sons and daughters. They were image-bearers.
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land. In just a little while, the wicked will be no more; though you look carefully at his place, he will not be there. But the meek shall inherit the land and delight themselves in abundant peace.Psalm 37:7-11(ESV)
Life has gone on... Differently... but it has gone on.
I have a granddaughter now. She'll never know her Papa, but she'll hear the stories. She'll hear of the man that brought his family to a new place, a new life. She'll hear of the man who liked to laugh and tell jokes. She'll hear of the man who loved his family. And she'll know that love.
I've shared this song before. It was part of the memorial video I created shortly after my father passed. It reflects so much of who he was as I remember him. It reflects much of who I am, having grown up in Texas... as his daughter. I am my father's child.
A truly special young lady was born on this day sixteen years ago. It was the same year that Coldplay's first album, Parachutes, came out with it's breakthrough single, Yellow. I love this young lady. I also love Coldplay and I find it especially... felicitous that they essentially... came to be in the same year.
Happy birthday, my beautiful Kyla. You know I love you so...
Got to hear Robert Ellis live tonight at the Cactus Lounge in Hollywood. It was a lovely intimate venue and you felt like you were at a small get-together with friends and one of them could sing and play a mean guitar. Got to chat with him briefly and got a selfie with him and told him I would catch him the next time he was in town. I Robert Ellis...
He sang this song tonight. Did I say I Robert Ellis...?
Crazy weekend trip to visit family in the Central Valley. The older boys and their dad had gone off white water rafting on the American River until Saturday. Talked with my daughter, their mom, and we decided it would be a good time to take the two littles to visit Nana and the rest of the family. We decided to head out Friday evening after I got off work. We were on the road by 6 pm and everything and everyone was good to go. Baby girl decided she was hungry about an hour into the drive, so we stopped in Bakersfield to feed her and grab a bite to eat and then we were back on the road, this time with Gaga driving. It was an easy drive until I noticed a light come on the dashboard... low pressure on the right front tire. Pulled into a gas station in Delano and found a large screw in the tire. Not quite how we wanted to start the weekend.
Short version... I discovered I can still change a tire! I do have to admit that I did have some help from the young man at the gas station where we turned to check the tire. He helped put the spare tire on and tighten the lug nuts. I also had help from the tow truck driver when he FINALLY showed up. He helped get the damaged tire back under the car and then followed us up to Tulare where we stayed the night. Yes, we stayed the night in Tulare.
There is more to the tale and much of it providential (ok, all of it providential...) and there may come a time where I share more, but suffice it to say that we did finally get up to Oakdale the next day after getting a new tire in Fresno and we had a lovely time visiting with family. All too soon, though, we were back on the road heading home.
On the way home I heard this song. I've heard it before, but tonight I felt it needs sharing. The words hit home, particularly during this season of politics, this season of the world, this heartbroken, heart-hurting, mad world.
Hit rewind and Click delete Stand face to face with the younger me All of the mistakes All of the heartbreak Here's what I'd do differently
I'd love like I'm not scared Give when it's not fair Live life for another Take time for a brother Fight for the weak ones Speak out for freedom Find faith in the battle Stand tall but above it all Fix my eyes on you, on you
"He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" (Micah 6:8)
A GREAT Tiny Desk Concert featuring Los Hacheros. Quick, before they close the borders and we all get kicked out, give a listen... Bet you'll be dancing by the end!
Heard this song last night and it spoke to me powerfully during this mad time in which we live.
I've a tattoo on the underside of my left arm, "Philippians 3:10-14 ...Pressing On." I love that passage, but the part that speaks most deeply to me is verse 12, "Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own."
He has made me His own. He will hold me fast. Because He has made me His own, I can press on. He will hold me fast.
I have already spoken to how the week began with family and friends celebrating the nation's independence and MY birthday. I loved having family and friends around me to mark the passing of time with me and celebrate this new score of years.
And then the week went to hell in a hand-basket. Not really sure I can put it any other way. News story after news story carries heartbreak and anger and madness here and abroad and I struggle to make sense of it, if any sense is to be made...
Found this video on Facebook today and knew it needed to be shared, for this time and place, for hurting hearts, as I know others are hurting as mine hurts.
I also found a choral version of the music that Samuel Barber composed. Thought it worth sharing as well, to help with the healing.
It's okay to grieve. There is much over which to grieve, but then let that season pass and then let us move on to healing, to reaching out to others with open, healing hands.
Have spent the past few days with family and friends as I marked the beginning of a new decade, a new score of years of this life that I live. Family came down from the central valley and we had fun eating, playing games, and just celebrating life as my family is wonderfully wont to do. We laughed, we were loud and it was all beautiful noise to which my grandsons contributed joyfully in their own ways. I love my family.
Coming back to the 'real' world after the long weekend, I have repeatedly read of heartbreak and senseless deaths and grief and I'm stunned, I am heartbroken. Found this song tonight and though it's a song for praying for the persecuted church, I think it appropriated for all of us today.
And, in case you don't quite get what I'm saying... listen to this message from David Platt. You may think prayer is the last thing we need in these situations, but I say it is the ultimate thing. It is a drawing closer to God and in the drawing closer to God we are then able to minister to this heartbroken, heart-hurting world. And don't get the order wrong...
"Selfless love for others springs FROM Supreme love for God"
Story... after story... after story... and my heart is broken for those who call themselves Christian and still support Donald Trump. My heart hurts as I read of people who call themselves Christian crying out for religious freedom here in America... but... not... for... Muslims...
It's Us against Them as has been the case since time immemorial... and my heart breaks as I sense God grieving over His children refusing to be blessings as He has called them to be blessings. As Israel was called to be a blessing to the nations in the Old Testament, we New Testament Christians are called to be a blessing to this world... and we, in America, are forsaking that call for our own selfish desires.
Mind you, I'm preaching to myself as much as anyone. I, who felt God calling me to serve in the mission field, am here in southern California, yeah, La-La Land, living life, just living... while bombs go off in Istanbul... and children are suffering in Syria.
Mind you, I pray for those I know who are serving in the hard places and I pray that God would send more workers into the harvest field. I pray. And I know and believe that "more things are wrought through prayer than this world dreams of." But my heart still hurts... for this country, my country, that is... so far removed it seems from the real world.
We're so caught up in "what about me" and "what about mine" that we fail; we fail so grievously, to see the bigger picture. God is still in control. And again, I'm preaching to myself... God is still in control. And what He is doing with America may not be what I think should happen or want to have happen with this country. He is working His will out and it may be His will to bring judgement on our selfish, self-serving, self-motivated behaviors and actions.
This political season has been the most depressing season that I can remember. Seasons past, I could find some redeeming qualities in the candidates, but this season... there is none. I'm grieved that my choices come down the two who are the presumptive candidates. And don't get me started on the fact that we finally could have a woman for president, but I cannot support her because she does not support the unborn. And yes, you can call me a one issue voter, but if I don't represent the least of these, what am I good for. Where is my humanity.
Don't worry, I won't throw my lot in with the other candidate who one day says he's pro-choice and the next day says he's not. He has changed his mind on so many things... what or who's to say he won't change his mind again further down the road. I was born in this country, but I'm of Mexican descent and I'm terrified of what could happen should he become President.
So...
This is where I stand. I'm praying. I'm praying for this country. I'm praying for my family, near and far, that they be safe during this unsafe time. I'm praying that God's Will be done, yes, that His Will be done. I'm praying for strength to endure to the end. I'm praying, knowing that prayer availeth much.
Ralph Stanley passed away today. You're probably asking, "Ralph Who?" It's ok. He's an icon in the bluegrass world. Being a lover of bluegrass, I'm paying my respects by sharing this song.
Gotta share another video of Dr. Stanley... this one with Patty Loveless. This music is in my blood...
Just saw today that Bastille released a new single from their upcoming second album, Wild World. Realized I hadn't followed up on them since their first album, Bad Blood, of which I posted a few songs. Could only find the new song on Spotify, so have shared that link, but not sure you can access it unless you have a Spotify account, which isn't a bad thing, because Spotify is pretty cool for playing music online... just sayin'.
I also shared another new song (to me) that they released last year. Couldn't find anything saying that it will be on the new album, but it was included in the FIFA 16 Soundtrack.
Will be following up on the release of the new album...
I wrote this post earlier this year about my father for his birthday:
In past years, I've tried to share a new song a day, a different song a day, based on what was going on, what I'd heard that day or even sought out to share. This year may not be the same in that respect, because I want to share a song again that I've already shared this year, these few days that we're into the year anyway. I want to share it again and speak to why I want to share it again.
Today was my dad's birthday. He would have been 93 today, but he passed away last September. I still mourn him, but I am also grateful for the man. Maybe it's because I'm now older and have more life on which to look back, but I can now see, with different eyes than the person I was twenty, thirty, forty years ago, the choices he made and how they affected his family... his move to bring his wife and two daughters from Mexico to America--to Texas; his work as a farm laborer, raising a family that added three more children; his decision to move his family to San Jose, then retiring to Oakdale, with his family still nearby.
He was a good father. He was distant, as was the dictates of a man of his time. I don't recall him ever saying he loved me until these last few years, but I've come to see the love he showed us by how he provided for us. He was always there to get us out of scrapes or help us during hard times, or, in the instances when he couldn't... he still stood by us as we faced consequences of our own doing. I can say it now, he loved us until the end.
But I'm sharing this song, not as a tribute to him, though I do want to honor him, but as tribute to the Father that was/is behind all that my earthly father did to provide for his family. I see God's hand in my father's life, and my life and now my daughter's life and her family. I see the legacy. I see God's mercy and grace in the paths we took and the steps He has guided all this time. They've not always been easy, but the Father's guiding hand was and is good and true and sure.
As I said when I first posted this song earlier this year... okay, this week, I love this song. God is a Good, Good Father. It's who He is. He gave me a good father. I am my father's child. And I was loved by him.
And I am my Father's child. And I'm loved by Him.
It's who I am.
Happy birthday, daddy...I miss you.
...
And so... I'm sharing that post again to honor the memory of my father this first Father's Day without him...
Father's Day is tomorrow. It will be my first without Daddy. Heard this song on the radio recently. Looked it up and remembered it from a Grey's Anatomy episode from several years back.
As I listen to it today, it speaks to what I feel with my dad gone. Just gotta keep breathing... one day at a time... keep breathing.
Found this song on NPR earlier this evening. Powerful. I keep replaying it...
It's from the upcoming movie, Legend of Tarzan, which is not an origin story, but takes up the story of Tarzan at a later date, in a sense him coming back to his roots to save his wife and others from a slave trader. May need to see this one.
I shared several songs from Darlingside earlier this year. So glad I got to see them in person when they were in L.A. I found a Darlingside station on Pandora and have enjoyed playing it lately. Heard this song earlier today and needed to share it. Dotan is new to me, but I like his sound. Based on what I read, he's working on a new album. Looking forward to hearing more.
Orlando weighs heavy on us all tonight. When I learned early this morning of what happened there, I sat for a moment, stunned yet again, at the loss of life. It was distant for most of the day as I went about my business, but when I finally got back to my computer, I found out more about the victims as the names were being released.
I remember reading earlier about the mom who spoke of texting her son during the terror and he was holed up in a restroom and was texting her. My heart hurt so badly as she recounted that he texted that the shooter was coming and he was in the restroom with them and that was the last she heard from her son. I later found out tonight that he was one of the victims and my heart broke for that mom. Her son, her baby was gone.
I shared this song before following another horrible, senseless shooting... And, as before, I'm heartbroken, but, as before, and as always I must need go to God with my distress and pour out my grief and anger and finally cry with Job, "though he slay me, yet will I hope in Him."
Trying to figure out how I haven't posted this song yet... Also trying to remember when I last heard it. I think it had to do with a television show... but I don't remember... sigh.
Heard it earlier today as I was getting ready for a show. I've had the honor to work with a quaint murder mystery dinner theater in North Hollywood and tonight was the last show. I got the gig through a friend when the show lost a performer to illness and she posted on Facebook that they were in need of another actress and I responded. So glad I did. It's a really fun group and I hope to work with them again.
Anyway, I heard this song earlier today and wanted to share it because I really like it. As I think about the title, "Welcome Home", it makes me think of the time when I will really be welcome home... e'en so Lord, come quickly.
And here we are, today, listening to Robert Ellis... again... Ok, so I fixate on an artist for a while and you just have to... deal.
This song is actually a cover that Robert does of George Jones, one of my childhood music icons. Remember, I grew up on Country. And this song is pure George Jones. And Robert does it justice, in my opinion. Gotta say, it gets a lot of memories stirring...
And that's all I'll say for now, other than there may be more Robert Ellis music to come.
I just love listening to Robert Ellis' voice... He's a Texas boy, you know. But he's so much more than country. Just listen to the guitar work on this song.
Robert Ellis...